It has been a week or so since I have blogged last. I really haven't had too much to blog about except for "thanks for the memories" notes that plague anyone who is leaving one stage of their life for the next. I decided that I really don't want to do a part deux of that. I was thinking about the recent vacation that I took with my friend's family, in fact my family. They have been a second family to me since I befriended Brian.
A vacation away from Iowa and the reality that I have no job is a good one, even if it is to Arkansas. I didn't think much of the chance to see Arkansas when it was first mentioned to me, but I took it as an opportunity to see more of the country and even try to dispel some of the myths that I have allowed the world and myself to create. It is a good feeling whenever you do this, no matter the experience. Aside from the many jokes that we made about it when traveling through Jasper and many of the other small town, it turned out to be a natural and basic beauty that I could appreciate. The locals, for which I wish I could say the same thing, turned out to be somewhat the image that I pictured. I man waiting outside an ice cream shop loved his tobacco so much that upon finishing his cigarette he process to put in a fat dip, but I guess you have to load up on tobacco when you live in a dry county. Anyway, I am getting off the subject at hand.
The purpose of this trip besides enjoying the time that I get to spend with Brian and his family for the limited time that is available until I start the next stage of my life is to allow myself to relax and recoup from the stress of college. Recently I have been on an abnormally long drinking binge. Normally I allow myself 4-5 days to let my body recover from the hell that I put it through, this is different for it is the last hurrah before my joining the rest of society into trying to contribute something positive. All I know is, every day post-finals week was spent getting drunk. This habit continued through the night of graduation spilling deeply into the "Lord's" day and more importantly Mother's day.
The trip allowed me time to get back to a more basic and root of life, the ability to be. Stress builds and builds up into balls of tightly wound energy that makes you turn into to someone that everyone hates. It also is a feeling that you have no affect on the world, but that is the beauty to getting back to the basics of life. There should be no need to affect the world on a grand scale. No one is asking me to to that in the matter of a day, nor week year or decade. A lifetime is the only time allowed when you should be able to have a worldly affect. I realize this and accept it fully. I may be entering a field that is competitive, but it will still be there if I leave it for a few weeks.
I told people that I would be thinking about life and what my next step would be, I really didn't finish this goal. I decided that it would be more important if I focused on relaxing and just to be. There is a natural flow to life, if you allow it to take you over from time to time you will get more out of life. That is where I have met some of my friends out of mere curiosity and floating into a class that isn't even in my major.
One the realizations that I have come to though through this vacation is that I want to take more time to camp. Jim tells stories that he was an explorer in his other life. While the rest of his family scoffed at the possibility of it, I considered it and wondered what I would of been in my previous life. I could of been an explorer. There is nothing like being out in nature expelling the technology that plagues us every hour of our day. I like the idea of taking the necessities out with me, the bare essentials, what we need to survive. I begin to think that I could get rid of a lot of things that I possess. I know that when I move to another place, I will take less than I did to college. I packed an indecent amount of boxes when leaving college, which are now flooding my basement. I am only shunning the possibility that I will be responsible for the removing of all them and storing them somewhere manageable.
I will end this blog with an excerpt from a journal that I wrote after a day of hiking in Arkansas:
Thursday May 18th, 2006
Today was sprinkled with hiking trails that amazed and mystified the beauty of Arkansas for me. Normally I consider this a state full of inbred hicks, but that is alright because they live in an area of the country that contains a rocky but magnificent hills. They aren't quite the majestic and isolated mountains of Wyoming, but they manage to please the five of us.
"Lost Valley" was the highlight of today's ventures. It was somewhat difficult but worth the spent energy. The trails led us up and down the treacherous mini-hills that are typical of the Ozarks. Littered with trees that cover you from the majority of natural sunlight, the trails make for a seedy journey. Hope is only reconciled by occational openings that allow you to see the beauty that is truly in these walks.
If "Lost Valley" was the highlight of today, its pinnacle rose with the viewing of the gorgeous 55 foot waterfall at the end of the hike. There only few words to describe such a scene, and unfortunately I believe that they are not possessed by I. I do, however, believe that I can make an honest effort to describe the water pools that collected beneath the falls. "The water is so clean it to a milky appearance that seems to have religious significance as if to wash the sins of society and our souls if one drinks from its purity."
Refreshingly yours,
Iowa Film Nazi
